A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says "you must be in management."
"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.
If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.
If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.
If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.
If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.
If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.
If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.
If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn't believe it.
If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.
If a Platonist has two cows, he looks for two others to milk.
If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.
If a Pacifist has two cows, they stampede him.
If a government worker has two cows, he can't sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.
For other great jokes, be sure to check out http://jokes.cc.com/, where you can find some great daily jokes.
Many people have met online and started a relationship. A lot of people have even become married. So there is no question that the Internet is a viable way to find love. In this article, I will go over some of the ways you can go about meeting people online.
1. Social Media.
Social media sites such as Facebook are a great way to meet people, share ideas, and possible make a connection that goes beyond the online world. The only thing you need to be careful of is that you are using a site where a love connection is possible. You should therefore do some research on which social media sites are well-suited for finding love. Also, it's better to large social media sites that have a lot of activity, as this essentially means you have a bigger pool of people to interact with. If you're not sure where to start, Facebook is one site that has been used by people to find dates and love. Each profile has lots of information that can be helpful to would-be online daters, such as relationship status, age, location, etc.
2. Online Dating Sites Like Match.com.
This one is obviously a no-brainer. Some people still feel hesitation toward joining a dating site, but any such reluctance is largely unjustified. While there can be some risks to online dating, for the most part, the success stories outweigh any mishaps. The newest stats show that 1 out of every 5 people in relationship met online, and the majority of those people met on a dating site. I would suggest starting out with well-known, large dating sites like Match.com. If you have cold feet, one thing you can do is join by using a Match.com free trial offer, which you can currently obtain by going to the dating site, DatingCoupons.net. This way, you won't be putting any real money at risk while you learn exactly how the site works.
3. Online Games.
Online games may not seem like the obvious choice if you are trying to find love online. For sure, you probably won't get results as quickly as you would using a dating site like Match.com, but on the plus side, you'll have more fun in the process and if you do meet someone, you'll have one passion in common already. There are many stories of people who met on online games like Second Life, World of Warcraft, and just about any type of massively multiplayer online game. Gaming probably shouldn't be your main way of trying to make a connection, but connections do happen in the gaming world, so just keep your mind open to the possibility, and you might be pleasantly surprised.
Humor can make people like you more and want to hang out with you more. It can also diffuse a tense situation and help you bond with people. But did you know that having a good sense of humor can also make you more attractive to the opposite sex? This is true especially if you are a guy.
Studies have shown that women tend to gravitate toward men who make them laugh. Of course, you will need other positive characteristics as well, but developing a good sense of humor can be one of the best ways to make yourself more appealing to women. This has been confirmed by many people, include Seth Meyers, who said that both he and his father were able to marry attractive women, thanks in part to having a good sense of humor.
So how can you develop a good sense of humor? One good thing you can do is pay attention to other funny people. Watch comedy shows and comedians, and pretty soon, their thought process will become part of the way you think as well. Some good shows to watch include late night talk shows like the Tonight Show, Late Night with Stephen Colbert, and Jimmy Kimmel. And of course, reading a lot of jokes helps as well.
In terms of finding a date, I would recommend joining a dating site. Match.com is a good place to start, but if you want a long-term relationship (and maybe even marriage), you can consider Eharmony as well. And try to use humor in your profile as well, since this can help quite a bit. There is an Eharmony free trial available at onlinedatingtrials.com if you would like to try out this dating site. One reason Eharmony may work better for you than other dating sites is because they have a sophisticated matchmaking algorithm that will only match you with people you are highly compatible with. In this way, it kind of gives you a shortcut to finding the perfect person to date.
To read more about online dating, check out my other article about modern day dating options. You'll find there are many different ways to go about finding a date online!
The venue for your first date can really make or break how things go with someone. While the first date doesn't have to be a home run, it should go well enough that your date wants to have a second date. But coming up with an idea for a first date can be difficult. Here are some things I've learned about first dates that may be helpful for you.
First, don't worry too much about being original. You don't want to take things too far and end up doing something bizarre or too adventurous. Something adventurous, for example, could easily go wrong. And doing something you're unfamiliar with can lead to awkward moments as well. Therefore, if you choose an activity, I believe it's best to select an activity that you have done before.
Taking classes is also a good idea. Cooking classes seen to be a popular option lately for people who go on dates. But really, just about any type of class may make for a good date. Just make sure that the class involves an activity that both of you enjoy.
For some reason, many people seem to want to avoid dinner and a movie, but this classic date is one you can't really go wrong with. I like to watch the movie first, so that there is something to talk about during the dinner, lessening the chance that there will be any awkward silences. Lunch dates are also a great idea, since they allow you to have a conversation, and it doesn't last too long, which can be good if things don't go well.
Meeting someone to date can sometimes be the hardest challenge these days. The best solution for me has been to use dating sites like Match.com. You know from my previous articles about dating on the Internet that I am a fan of online dating and believe it's one of the best ways to meet someone. As I've mentioned before, my favorites sites are Match.com and Eharmony. Get a free trial for Match.com if you want to check out the site for a few days without paying.
I don't know if I mentioned this before, but it's best to stick to dating sites that charge for a subscription. As the saying goes, you get what you pay for. And for something as important as dating and potentially finding love, you don't want to take chances by using a free site.